Nothing Missing, Nothing Broken

I am amazed at the recent changes in my life.
When God prompts you to do something, and then you are obedient and do that thing. Well, that is when miracles happen!
It was not long ago at all, that I was walking around on my front porch one night talking to the Lord about everything. I do mean everything.
I don't know what kind of relationship other people have with God. But, He is my Daddy and Jesus is the lover of my soul. I know that they are completely aware of what I think anyway, so I just let it all hang out with them.
Anyway, I was crying. I was trying to make some kind of sense of this world and all the pain and suffering I encounter. I was pretty much begging Jesus to come back and take us away. I do that a alot!
Just then, a phrase came to me, "nothing missing, nothing broken". I knew, that is what the Lord wanted to do for me. So I asked the Lord to give me exactly that. Nothing missing and nothing broken in my life.
It is what He wants to do for all of us. We don't always know what is missing or what is broken in our lives or in our selves. He does.
Shortly after this I had a dream. I dreamed that I was extremely angry with someone. I was cursing this person for all they were worth. I mean I was saying, "F--- you", and all kinds of not nice things. When I woke up I couldn't believe it. I had never had a dream like that before.
Then I realized who I was cursing at in my dream. It was a person who had hurt me when I was a young teenage girl. I had thought, up until this point, that I had overcome that hurt, forgiven the person etc.. but this was an eye opener from the Lord.
So, if you have read my previous two blog posts then you know that the Lord helped me to contact that person and receive healing. I am actually amazed this didn't happen sooner. I can't believe I spent so many years of my life still wounded.
The healing continues and I am thankful.
I am 37 years old and have worked as a Registered Nurse for 17 years.  Fifteen of those years I have worked with people who are mentally ill. I tell you this because of my perception of my life before this recent turn of events.
I felt like I pretty much had things together. A good career, two beautiful healthy daughters, a husband who loves me beyond all reason, nice house, nice car, parents who love me, friends, etc....... But I was still broken inside. Never feeling like I was good enough. Never feeling whole.

Most of the patients I take care of have nothing close to the good things I do.  It is utterly horrific to see people in such despair and pain. Sometimes it is overwhelming. And that is just me looking into their lives!
I have known for a long time that I would not have Anything good in my life without God.
However, what I didn't know is that every thing that has happened in my life was for a reason.
A real reason.
Every time I screwed up. Every time I asked for forgiveness. Every time I realized my need for HIM.
It was all leading up to the realization that God wants me to have Nothing missing and Nothing broken.
And that He was going to do this for me!
Not because I have done Anything to deserve it. My Lord, I have done so many wrong things, bad things.
I dare say it would shock some people..
God is So good. He loves us So much more than we know. He really did know every sin we would commit before we ever did. He loves us anyway.
We really don't have to do anything but accept His love. Spend time with Him and listen to His heart. He wants to heal all of us. He wants to heal our hearts, our minds and our bodies. We spend too much time resisting what God wants us to do.  If we would just do it, push past the fear, do what He is telling you to do. He has freedom in store for you when you do. He has wholeness and peace just waiting for you! It might not be easy, but it Will be worth it...
I am sure I still have quite a ways to go before God gets me to where He wants me. But I am glad I am along for the ride!